My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
