Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
