Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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