People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
