i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
