I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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