I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize