Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
