I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
