Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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