I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
