windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
