i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize