Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
