i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
