you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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