he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
