I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
