I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
