you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
