I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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