I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
