bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
