And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
