Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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