Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
