so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
