well you can't waste a boner
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
