He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
