So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
