their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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