he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
