I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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