take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize