If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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