i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
