Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
