chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
