I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
