thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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