i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
