Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
