We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
