If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
