I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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