Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
