im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
