windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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