kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
