Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
