oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
