Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize