i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
