Buhtt sex?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
