Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
