I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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