just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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