I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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