sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
