Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
