I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
