she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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